Courting is a relationship between a man and a woman, determining if it is in God’s will for them to marry. Courting is not the same as dating because when it comes to courting both the man and the woman are courtship involves goals and seeks help from parents, mentors, or someone that is married.

Courting avoids temptation. It sets boundaries between the two. Undersand that if you decide to court with a man or a woman. Now there are rules when it comes to courting, I will only talk about a few:

  1. The man initiates the courting. Just like a man pursues a woman, the woman should chase after the man. If a man feels like God is leading him to a specific woman then the man has to get permission from the father of the woman. Now I know that some guys would not do that.
  2. The couple should get to know each other families. Getting to know each other families. It is important to know each other families because you will need their support.
  3. Avoid defrauding. Do not stir up desires while you are courting because the temptations will come. Ladies when you are courting with a man dress modestly because the clothes that you wear can tempt a man. Guys no improper touching. Guard your heart.
  4. Accountability is important. Having mentors is important because they will help the couples stay on track. As I mentioned before the couple parents can be a mentor as the couple support team and guiding them.

Courting should be taken seriously and God needs to be first. I know some people that are courting and I believe that it is a great thing to do. Nowadays you would not hear a lot of people say that they are courting. In this generation it seems to be all about just jumping right into a relationship and then from then on going right into the next one, once that one is over. People do not really take time to really get to know someone. I mean there are some people who does take the time to know someone but it takes more than several weeks to get to really know someone.

Courting is different from dating. When you are courting you are typically dating but you are focused on that one particular man or woman. Also, the family is involved but when it comes to dating people secretly hide their relationship and there is no goals set. Courting is a step towards marriage. Remember that courting is a choice.


Being Used

No one likes being used especially when you are in a relationship. On one hand you have one person that loves and on the other hand one person is using the other for their personal gains. People get used for many things when it comes to a relationship, sometimes he or she doesn’t see it but other people do. There are signs that will tell you, if you are being used by the other person you are in a relationship with.

Finding out that your significant other or soulmate is using you is wrong. You wouldn’t have thought that he or she would do something like this to you but understand this there is no one that’s perfect on earth. People are bound to make mistakes but the same mistakes over and over again. That should tell you something. People do not like to be used by someone that they love. God uses his children, but in a good way of using his sons and daughters. He uses us for his work so that we can receive our reward which is in heaven.

One way that you can recognize if you are being used by someone is if they only come to you when they need a favor. All it takes is one favor then it is more likely to happen again and again but you can stop that. I will not talk about how to stop being used until later. Another way is you find yourself unable to say no to them. You feel like if you say no to them you will feel guilty. Do not feel guilty when you say no to them, your relationship should not be a one-sided relationship. There’s two people in the relationship not one, you cannot date yourself.

Stop letting your significant other drag you back into meeting their needs. What about your needs? If they care about you then why do you feel uncomfortable? Why do you find yourself unable to say no to them? Why is it that they only check up on you when they need something from you? There are times when you have to put your foot down. You are not his wife and you are not her husband!!

Now, there are ways to stop being used when you are in a relationship. Learn to say no, be courteous, and worry about your needs if you have a project or bills to pay for let them know that you can’t do them a favor. God will not send you he or she to use you. If you think he or she is the right one think again and ask yourself, ” Will God send me he or she to use me?” The answer is no because God knows the desires of your heart. (Psalms 37:4) It’s okay to say no, do not be afraid of the word no. Stop allowing yourself to be used.